


Fawkes and the Invasion of Slug People

by Hessy, thefandomcat



Series: How to Train your Phoenix [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Book 7: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Crack, Gen, crackfic, fawkes the traveller, now he does save something, post-book 7, saviour fawkes au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-22
Updated: 2020-02-22
Packaged: 2021-02-19 16:16:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22847119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hessy/pseuds/Hessy, https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefandomcat/pseuds/thefandomcat
Summary: THIS IS A CRACKFICAfter the golden trio resurrected Fawkes, the phoenix decides to travel the world a bit
Series: How to Train your Phoenix [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1636030
Kudos: 7





	Fawkes and the Invasion of Slug People

**Author's Note:**

> because this fandom needs something that's not angst

Fawkes was used to weird shit happening down below as he flew by. When he left out three heroes to deal with Voldemort themselves because he wasn’t about to ruffle his fabulous wings, he went on a sightseeing tour. 

After he visited Ilvermorny in America, surprised some poor students there (not only with his big size) and one hungry farmer tried to catch him, thinking he was a big turkey worth of Thanksgiving dinner, he relocated to China. People there literally worshipped him as a dragon and Fawkes was a teeny tiny bit sad when he decided to leave. He had got quite homesick after a few weeks and people in China just didn’t _get_ him. 

Now he was in France and so far, this was the weirdest thing he had ever seen, and he had seen some crazy shit during his time with Dumbledore. 

He was flying above Provence when suddenly; a foreign object fell down from the sky. It had the shape of an egg and it crashed right in the middle of a small town. Curious, Fawkes landed near the object. There were shouts of: “ _Extraterrestres_!” Terrified people were running in all directions, clearly wanting to be as far away from the unidentified flying object (otherwise known as UFO) as possible if there were some creepy aliens that wanted to enslave them or whatever. 

The door of the strange object opened and a terrible smell came out. It reminded Fawkes of Dumbledore’s old socks when he wore them for more than two days. 

One after another, the aliens - because no one could believe these things were even remotely human - started piling out in front of their ship. They looked like slugs. 

Fawkes felt an unexplainable surge of hunger. They looked DELICIOUS. The phoenix clapped his beak. He would see what they were up to and then he’d get an amazing dinner. 

As it turned out, the slug people spoke French. There must’ve been a translation circuit inside their ship. It didn’t look like they were going to cause trouble so Fawkes took off to a big lake he saw on his way here. 

A few hours later he was chilling on a small beach when he heard shouting. It came from the direction where the town was. Fawkes stood up, ruffled his feathers because he was just so fabulous and went to see what was happening. 

The slug people were causing trouble. That feeling of hunger swept in again and Fawkes immediately acted upon it. 

The slug-looking aliens made a delicious dinner. 


End file.
